Wednesday, August 20, 2008

The Indian Century.

                               The Daily Pheesh
                               saturday 20 August 2050
In a shocking development, Sardar Bhumiputra Singh, the President of the Republic of India announced his resignation from all political posts today. In a moving and eloquent speech broadcast on SBS TV, the much respected SBS said “I am bored with running this country and its people. These people don’t deserve me.” This caps a Presidential career of 25 years for the majestic SBS who emerged from total anonymity to power after the communal riots and military coup of 2025. The resignation is especially significant in the context of the 2 houses of Parliament and the assemblies of India’s 32 states passing resolutions urging the noble SBS to continue as President till the end of his life.

Sources have reported that huge crowds have gathered in front of the statues of the picturesque SBS all over the country. An atmosphere of mourning prevails among these crowds with occasional slogans of “SBS Nahin to Kuch Nahin” , “Our path, SBS path” etc rending the air. There have also been rumours of suicides and attempts at self-immolation across the country. Further reports are awaited.

The first pan-Indian President (the ethnicity, religious background and even the name of the humanitarian SBS, Sardar Bhumiputra Singh being a pseudonym, are not known yet), the visionary SBS presided over the golden age of post-independent India as the erstwhile poor nation derided for its “Hindu rate of Growth” achieved new highs. The leadership of the visionary SBS saw the tricolor flying over Islamabad, Dhaka and Colombo, China adopting Hindi as its national language, India winning all the gold medals on offer at the 2032 Olympics in Patna and the landmark Bhopal Treaty on Greenhouse gases (which gave India a clean, unconditional and exceptional waiver from using only renewable energy sources). The multi-talented SBS also won the Nobel Prize for literature for his best-selling classic “LIFE”, the Nobel Prize in Economics for the immortal “SBS Theory of Poverty” and the Nobel Prizes in Physics and Medicine for his “SBS meter” which is the ultimate measure of the possibility of life on a planet in space. The reign of the remarkable SBS also saw Bhumiputra becoming the most popular name for young boys and girls as an entire generation of children was named after the inspirational SBS .

The Indian Government and the Shimla-based United Nations have declared a month’s mourning and have asked all flags(including plastic flags) to be flown at half mast. The legislatures of the 32 states of India conducted emergency sessions and issued identical appeals to the post-partisan SBS to take up residence in their respective states. However it is more likely that the stellar SBS will, as recorded in his will, travel to the space colony on Titan and take over the rule of the International Space Colony Agency. The issue of succession is already irrelevant since the Indian Parliament had, in an extraordinary Bill, declared the feisty SBS the last President and political authority of India.
We salute the gallant SBS who to quote a MP’s poetic description “many long years ago made a tryst with destiny and redeemed that pledge, not wholly or in full measure but substantially”

DP special—On this momentous yet sad occasion, we dedicate a whole month’s issues of the The Daily Pheesh to a detailed biography of the life and times of the historic SBS. We hope this will enable our dear readers to gain a greater perspective on the achievements of the magnificent SBS. --DP

PS-1. A special word of gratitude to the good people of India and Pakistan for providing me some peripheral inspiration.
PS-2 As should be gathered from above, the main source of inspiration is something else. I am 3 pages into Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s “The Autumn of the Patriarch” and it seems immensely promising.
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