Monday, April 27, 2009

Beware all ye shoe throwers..

                                 The Daily Pheesh
                                 Saturday April 23 2011

The passing out parade of the first batch of the National Shoe Guard was conducted yesterday with much fanfare at the NSG Academy in Kohlapur. Addressing the cadets, the Home Minister reminded them of the urgent need for the services of trained commandos and called upon them to strive to uphold the proud traditions of the security services in India. The first batch of the Shoe Guard will be immediately deployed in the security cover of public figures who require Z+ category protection. These elite commandos have been trained to identify restive figures in a crowd who might be potential show-throwers and have been given the authority to detain them. They have also been issued with high caliber slingshots and 15mm fiber stones to deflect shoes and other projectiles directed at public figures.

It is also rumored that in the event of a politician or public figure forgiving a shoe-thrower, the Shoe Guard Commandos are allowed to 'rough up' the offender in a 'restrained' manner for preventive purposes. Repeat offenders will be prosecuted by a special court and an amendment to the NSA to this effect is being debated in Parliament.

Politicians from across the spectrum hailed the inauguration of the NSG. The Prime Minister, in a statement, reminded the nation of the dark days of 2009 and 2010 when "...every notable public figure had to endure the humiliation of random individuals flinging footwear at him." He urged his fellow citizens to return to those days when shoes occupied their right place at the feet of people and all was good and happy in India.-DP

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