Thursday, July 3, 2008

Dream Team!!

                                  The Daily Pheesh
                                  friday 4 July 2008
The Daily Pheesh has come into possession of a classified document which reveals the Samajwadi Party's master plan with details of the true demands of the party and its vision of the future, Contrary to popular perception, the master-plan(which was approved at the Parliamentary Board meeting of the party) does not involve the replacements of the Finance and Petroleum Ministers alone. The SP has, in fact, outlined the contours of of a new-look cabinet which they believe, is the need of the hour to solve the multitude of issues the nation faces. Here's a sneak peek into the SP "Dream-Team".

1) Prime Minister-Hon. Sri Mulayam Singh Yadav(purely honorary position)
2) Finance Minister- Sri Subroto Roy Sahara
3) Minister for Home Affairs- Sri Raghuraj Pratap Singh alias Raja Bhaiya
3) Minister for Human Resource Development- Sri Amitabh Bachchan
4) Minister for Petroleum and Natural Gas- Mr. Anil Ambani
5) Minister for Law and Justice- Mr.Vikas Yadav
6) Minister of State (Independent Charge) for Women and Child Development- Srimati Jaya Bachchan
7) Minister of State for Environmental Protection- Mrs. Aishwarya Rai-Bachchan
8) Minister of State for Youth Affairs and Sports- Mr Akhilesh Yadav (son of Hon. Sri Mulayam Singh Yadav)
9) Minister of State for Migration, Immigration and Emigration(MIE)- Sri Abu Azmi
10) Special Government Coordinator on Youth Inspiration and Promotion of Poetry Effort (YIPPE)- Sri. A.P.J. Abdul Kalam

i)Chief Executive Officer, Chairman of Governing Coalition, Chief Spokesman, Chief Motivator of the Armed Forces, Minister for External Affairs, Chief Negotiator (to be addressed as Chief)- Sri Amar Singh

Government of India Notifications:
a) The Ministry of Defence has been formally abolished. The three armed services will deal with all necessary details. All defense contracts shall be a part of the mandate of the External Affairs Ministry. All foreign trips for diplomatic/trade/defense purposes shall be undertaken by Chief Amar Singh in his capacity as Chief Negotiator
b) The Revenue Department which deals with taxation, unauthorized wealth etc has been detached from the Ministry of Finance. The HRD Minister Sri. Amitabh Bachchan has kindly consented to take charge of the department
c) President's Rule has been declared in Uttar Pradesh. The Government has issued a special order declaring ex-CM Kumari Mayawati guilty without trial and sentencing her to death by "statuification"(use of human body as mold for a bronze statue.For historical parallels re.Mughal-e-Azam) for her crimes against the nation and its people.
d) "Kya Aap Panchvi Pass Se Tez Hain", hosted by Shah Rukh Khan on Star Plus has been declared an obscene, immoral television program and the the host shall be prosecuted for endangering the moral health of the nation.
e) Mrs. Aishwarya Rai-Bachchan has been appointed the Indian Ambassador to France. She will shoulder this responsibility in addition to her position in the Union Ministry.
f) The Government has decided to confer the Bharat Ratna on Sri Amitabh Bachchan for promoting culture, Mr. Anil Ambani for promoting entrepreneurship, Smt Jaya Bachchan for promoting family values and Chief Amar Singh for promoting Chief Amar Singh.

The Daily Pheesh has also come to know that Mr. Vikas Yadav(guilty in Nitish Katara murder case, co-guilty in Jessica Lal murder case and prospective Law Minister) has resigned from the BSP, the party which he joined recently with his father D.P.Yadav. In an exclusive interview to the Pheesh he said "Kumari Mayawati is power hungry and does not care for the people. I share the vision of Hon. Sri Mulayam Singh Yadav and Chief Amar Singh."---DP

4 comments:

The Quirky Indian said...

Dude, this is hilarious!

I'm laughing, yet almost shitting bricks at the same time, because in our great land this could come true any time.

Cheers,
Quirky Indian
http://quirkyindian.wordpress.com

asmokescreen said...

ROTFL

Your best yet!!

Particularly liked this:
... and Chief Amar Singh for promoting Chief Amar Singh.

Keep 'em coming!

Prasanth said...

Thanks for the coments

More on the way! keep watching.

indiequill said...

.... aaaaand welcome to my nightmare!

LOL @ the Paanchvi Pass thingy. And if we can only substitute Amar Singh for our armed forces, he'll soon annoy the world into appointing India as the sole superpower.