Saturday, July 12, 2008


                                The Daily Pheesh
                                 Saturday 11 July 2030
The Union Health Minister Ms Chintamani Anbumani Ramadoss (d/o ex-Health Minister Anbumani Ramadoss s/o PMK leader late Dr. P.K Ramadoss) has revealed the latest set of proposals designed to "remove the scourge of tobacco from India". The minister revealed this plan in an exclusive interview with the Daily Pheesh yesterday. These steps are part of a larger anti-tobacco drive that has been championed by the Government ever since the Minister's father occupied the position of the Health Minister in the first decade of the century. Some of the proposals include:

1) All male citizens whose annual income is less than Rs 1,80,000 per annum have been prohibited from marrying. According to the Minister "..this will prevent these people from spreading their genetic material among the populace of India".

2) All male citizens whose annual income is between Rs 1,80,000 and Rs 6,00,000 per annum(henceforth referred to as "subject") have been given permission to marry on the fulfillment of the following conditions.
a) The woman who is to marry the subject has to sign a No Objection Certificate(NOC) which shall state that she is responsible for all ill-effects that shall affect the subject,herself and whatever offspring that are emergent from the marriage.
b) The subject shall pay a "Special Tobacco Tax" of Rs.60,000 per annum and shall carry around a sign with a "skull and crossbones" on his neck.

3) All male citizens whose annual income is higher than 6,00,00 per annum are exempted from any restrictions on smoking. This exemption also extends to all employees of ITC which is one of the largest and most successful corporations in India.

The Minister, during the course of the interview, spoke out against "special interests and business corporates" who were preventing the proper implementation of the anti-tobacco drive. However she went on the defensive when asked about the ITC exemption and her only response was "Health is very important but business must also go on". When the Pheesh asked the minister about the growing number of women smokers in India, the Minister sported a very pained look and declared in a stern voice "Indian women do not smoke". ---DP

Exaggeration? Paranoia? Over-reaction?? Check this out!!

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